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 How I feel about past events as well as the future.

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Thailand
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Posts : 154
Join date : 2012-03-10
Age : 21

PostSubject: How I feel about past events as well as the future.   Mon 05 Aug 2013, 5:13 pm

)(I originally posted this in the chatbox but I really want to put it here. So It's going to be cut and paste. It's kinda cheesy and might begin to 1) make zero sense and 2) sound like a royal speech. But Try to understand. It took me A LOT to come back.)(

So as you all can see I've returned. Hopefully for good this time. Look I needed a break. I still hadn't gotten over the whole rebellion thing and I don't think I ever will. My worst fear is loneliness and that night you made me experience that. Of course I mean the ones who had anything to do with the rebellion. Anyway I forgive all of you but I can't say I'll ever forger BUT I will try to move past that because I realized that I can't keep running. Yes I ran away from this site, And couldn't come back. I was selfish enough to leave this site totally to Beijing and Belarus which wasn't a bad move. They did a wonderful job up keeping the site and advertising on tumblr. But, What WAS bad was the fact that i dropped my responsibility of maintaining and running this site.

I realized that It's not fair for me just to leave this site and let all the new people who want to roleplay sit here and suffer just because i was being selfish. It's about time i took charge and got over myself. Yea I was hurt but I need to get back to the reason I made this site which was to make a happy roleplay experience for people just like the one I had when i first began to roleplay. I'm not going to let my site end up like how my first one did. Abondned and barren of any people. I'd like to say I am deeply sorry For not being responsible. I promise to try my best to remain active. I wont let my emotions influence my decisions. Now. I've cleaned up the site redesigned it and made a few rule changes. i even deleted a crap ton of ppl. It's time for a fresh start. And I shall be the one to lead it. I hope all of you are well and once again I am sorry for my behaviour. This time around, I'm stronger and I'm not afraid to say what I feel. If there is a problem talk to me. Let me know. It's not a matter of talking behind someone's back it's telling me of a greviance that is bothering you so we can better out comunity! Don't be afraid. Anyway I've rambled on enough.

To all of you who started from the bottom with me *kiss all of your hands* I love all of you. To all the new members, I look forward to getting to know you and loving you as well. Let's all look to the future of not only this site but also our friendships and bonds. This time I don't want excessive fighting I want everyone friends with one another. I want us all to work together and supprort one another. We are a family always gaing new membes and losing some. But still a family. I want there to be love this time not hate.okay Now I have rambled on enough. Heres to better roleplay season *raises glass*
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PostSubject: Re: How I feel about past events as well as the future.   Fri 16 Aug 2013, 4:15 am

Hey, Thai! Long time, no talk. Hope you're well. I also wanted to say something to get off my chest as well since I started out on this forum and ever since you left. Just thought I'd say this, but I feel like I know where all the drama started. I know it isn't right to go around beating myself up but I feel like I was at fault and also because a certain someone (I will not say names.) decided to act like they owned me saying how upset they were that I was talking to other people. Like, "What do you want me to do?" There are like 10+ people that were online like, almost everyday. I mean, I can't keep paying attention to you all day; you were the cause of my anxiety worsening to a point where I'm literally shaking like it's -42 outside and crying my eyes dry all day. I mean, what kind of person would just stop replying completely without reason or even telling me what the fuck I did wrong, you know? But, anyway, I'm rambling because even to this day, it still bothers the living hell out of me. I no longer talk to said person, so that's done.

Also, I was actually happy that day you made me an admin since you decided to go on a hiatus for a bit. It went to hell after a while. I guess it was the way the others rped. It just bothered me amongst other things. Not to mention the part where I may have hurt some others in the process.And after a while of being here, kinda drove me nuts, Speaking of rping, I also understand that rp also lets you let out how you really feel sometimes, I mean it's understandable, but honestly..... If you have to let out in something that's extremely, completely, and legitimately serious don't rp it with me. It just, no. It's not okay, roleplay is escapism, not a lifestyle. Sure, you spend all day, every day on the internet, but I think the most serious of serious topics isn't something everyone likes to hear. Whether it be rl or rp. I know it sounds like I'm overreacting, but I felt like ranting and rambling about this and that because I do care about the forum and I do care about my nutter butters everyone here and would rather they not feel sad because not everyone is going to feel comfortable about it, you know?

And ever since you left for days, the forum kinda... Well, tumbleweeds are rolling. I was also close to wanting to leave since no one was online as much and were on when I wasn't. Talk about bad timing. But I did occasionally peek at the forum from time to time to see if any changes happened or to manage a conversation with anyone that was in the chatbox. But, now that you're here, it's nice hear from you again! And hopefully everything will be the way it was before! Here! My blessings to a better and brighter forum! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ #THE FUTURE!!!!!!!
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